Belonging

What does it mean to belong? How does it feel? For as long as I can remember I was searching for belonging looking for a place to call home, feeling valued and supported by soul family…when I moved to Costa Rica in early 2016 I felt lost at first, I was not sure who I am and what I was searching for but I knew that there was a felt sense of home on these lands.

I believe that being part of a community gives us a sense of belonging, a place where we can share personal relatedness and support each other’s growth, ourselves and our environment. For me community is the glue that brings like-minded people together with similar characteristics and common interests. 

I love this explanation from Peter Block

“The opposite of belonging is to feel isolated and always (all ways) on the margin, an outsider. Belonging can also be thought of as a longing to be. Being is our capacity to find our deeper purpose in all that we do. It is the capacity to be present and to discover our authenticity and whole selves. This is often thought of as an individual capacity, but it is also a community capacity.

Community is the container within which our longing to be is fulfilled. Without the connectedness of a community, we will continue to choose not to be.” 

So how does it feel? For me belonging is that feeling of interconnectedness, it’s the sense that you are part of something larger. I feel safe and supported by my community members, a feeling where you can be seen in your light and shadow with no judgement. Feeling that sense of belonging is about acceptance and I know through research that our connections to others and the strength of these relationships make us less likely to suffer from poor physical, mental and emotional health. Together in community we are stronger 

I believe a sense of belonging is crucial to our life’s happiness and life’s satisfaction for longevity. It gives us a sense of purpose and meaning. As humans we have an instinctive need to belong, evolutionary cooperation and group relationships leads to an increased level of survival.

I would love to leave you with an insert from Starhawk

“We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been — a place half-remembered and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.”

- Starhawk

My prayer for all of you–that you find your home–a home for body and soul. A home within you for your true self and a home where others love and welcome you for all of who you are and also who you aren’t.

- Tish Steenkamp